Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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