It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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