His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
