10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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