Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
