dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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