Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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