want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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