I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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