He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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