In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
