yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
