I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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