That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
