So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
