Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
