Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
