You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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