I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize