Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
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