My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
