Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
