i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize