Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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