she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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