Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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