Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
