So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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