I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
