He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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