I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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