She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
