i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
