I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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