do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
