I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
