everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
