Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
