RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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