I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I need to sanitize my soul.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
