I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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