Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
