My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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