So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
