so explain again why im purple
no
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
