You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize