Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
