it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I puked a lego.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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