I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We had sex on a dog bed..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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