Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
