that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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