I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
