Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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