Your dad touched me again.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
