That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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