Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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