I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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