Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
