So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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